Mocking the Undrafted

We're less than 5734 minutes away from the NBA draft and we're counting the seconds! While most fans of the draft will eagerly quaff their Natty Ice in anticipation of their hometown team's pick, we'll be watching for a different reason. Invariably, every draft has at least one guy who expects to go in the lottery slipping way down the list, in some cases into the second round or out of the draft all together. The real suspense lies in if this particular player will keep it together and patiently wait for his name to be called (a la Brady Quinn or Aaron Rogers in the nfl drats the past couple of years), or if he'll Marcus Williams it (#22 to the Nets last year) and struggle to contain the How on Earth am I gonna pay for the Bentley NOW!? panic.

The nominee: Spencer Hawes, Center, U Dub (or was it state?)
Why he's a lottery candidate: First of all, he's a real 7-footer in a time when they're kinda scarce. Secondly, he has some pretty polished post skills and can use both hands fairly well. His instincts and decision making are pretty good and will only improve with experience.
So what's the effin problem: He's not exactly what you'd call a great athlete so he might fall victim to Bryant "Big Country" Reeves syndrome. Big white dudes with some skill but limited mobility don't exactly have the greatest track record of success these days. I'm willing to bet a six pack that Duke's Josh McRoberts is praying to everything holy that Hawes goes high. No way is McRoberts going before Hawes, and if Hawes slips far enough, McRoberts might fall to the second round. Second round = non-guaranteed money and second thoughts on that new Mercedes S-Class.

The Nominee: Brandan Wright
Why he's a lottery pick: He as much natural ability as anyone in the draft, and that includes Oden and Durant. His athletic ability is incredible.
So is he dropping like a rock?: He's a project. At 19, he lacks maturity and doesn't always register on the effort/intensity scale.
Our take: Someone with his potential won't fall far if he stays out of trouble. But all it really takes is one eentsy weentsy little arrest between now and Thursday, and the red flags are flyin'. Hey, could happen. If Eugene Robinson can get arrested the night before a Superbowl, anything is possible.

Other notables: These guys aren't necessarily lottery picks, but might find themselves drowning their sorrows on draft day.

Rodney Stuckey: He's good. But other guys like Acie Law, Javaris Crittendon, and Gabe Pruitt are all either more proven or have a higher ceiling. Plus he played at Eastern Washington which isn't exactly in a powerhouse conference.
The Verdict: A deep talent pool might mean a long wait for Stuckey. If this draft contained last year's talent pool, he might go top ten. But last year, Jordan Farmar got picked in the first round.

Tiago Splitter: The pros, he's legitimately 7 feet tall, and a better than adequate post defender. The cons, he's under contract with a Spanish team until 2008. Plus, after Fran Vasquez bamboozled the Orlando Magic, teams are being very careful with foreign guys still under contract unless they want them to stay overseas for more seasoning.
The Verdict: He's on the bubble. He might go late first. He might go early second. A wild card here is whether or not the buzz surrounding Marc Gasol (Pau's bro) picks up steam or not.

Morris Almond: Probably the smartest kid in the draft. Earns equal plaudits for his gorgeous jumpshot and dedication in the classroom. Has a great body at 6 foot 6 and about 220. Unfortunately, he's not terribly nimble and is a liability on the defensive end.
The Verdict: Utah might take him at 25. After all, Matt Harpring won't be around forever. Now that Chauncey Billups has officially opted out, Detroit at 27 isn't out of the question. But if neither of those two take him, he's probably into round 2.

Jared Dudley: Anyone from a Jesuit school, you gotta keep your eye on. Although judging by this year's NBA finals, God is not a basketball fan. He's hard not to like because his intensity is off the charts. He has some semblance of mid-range touch, but relies on hustle rather than skill for most of his game.
The Verdict: He's slightly better than Mark Madsen, a little worse than Ronny Turiaf. With a talent-loaded draft, that spells a ticket to the second round.

As always, we can't wait to tune in later in the week to see how wrong we were about everything and subject ourselves to stern ridicule.

Not to change the subject: 120 Proof reader, Poopie, alerted us to this little gem. The topic on today's Maury Povich show is (paraphrased)"I don't know his name but I know he's my baby's daddy!" The truly awesome thing about this is that if you change his, he's, and daddy, to her, she's and mommy, you'd have something very closely resembling Shawn Kemp's life story.

Pour one out: In sad news, former major league reliever and one of 120Proof's heroes Rod Beck passed away Sunday at the age of 38. Beck was a three-time allstar, and one of the most likeable guys the game of baseball has ever known. While working on a comeback with the Cubs' AAA team in 2003, he was famously known for parking his motorhome behind the field and inviting fans to come hang out after the game for a beer or three. Reporters liked him because his genuine good nature led to a lot of funny quotes. When a reporter asked him if his portly physique might negatively affect his pitching, he responded with, "Hey, I've never heard of anyone going on the disabled list with pulled fat." When he resurfaced in the big leagues with San Diego in '03 minus his trademark bushy mullet, he said, "I started to have the whole yarmulke and power alleys thing going on so it was time to get rid of it." We're sorry you're gone, bud. We'll have one for you tonight. Rod Beck was (only) 38 years old and is survived by his wife and two kids.

Thanks for having a shot of 120 Proof.